The snow has already arrived. The same can be said about Christmas music and Christmas themed commercials. It’s not even late November yet, and we are already obsessed with the holiday season. That being said, global warming and polar vortexes have been plaguing our planet for the longest time. I have a theory about these occurrences and how they are connected with our Christmas addiction.

Our summers are getting warmer, and our winters are getting much colder. Thanksgiving is slowly becoming a second class holiday, and Christmas is becoming a medium for selling obscene amounts of products. Everyone loves the holiday season, and everyone is sad when it ends, but is it something worth rushing into? We see all kinds of media talking about Black Friday, or Christmas shopping, but never anything about Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is just as fun of a holiday as Christmas. Yeah, it might not be as important, but it still matters this year, and it still has a lot to offer those who celebrate it. With Thanksgiving you get a huge parade, football, food, and now a week off of school. This year presents a great opportunity for Thanksgiving. We have an entire week to celebrate this year so let’s not waste it dreaming about Christmas.

It appears that even the weather has lost hope in Thanksgiving. It is only mid-November and half of the country is covered in snow. Whose fault is this? Is it an effect of global warming? Is it purely another random polar vortex? Or is it some other reason? Are we wanting Christmas to get here so fast that we are willing the snow to arrive sooner as well?

Al Gore is wrong. Climate change isn’t happening because of the vast amount of carbon dioxide we are releasing into the atmosphere. It’s happening because America is so obsessed with Christmas, we are speeding up all the other seasons. It’s getting warmer faster because summer is happening quicker, and it’s getting colder sooner because Christmas is trying to force itself in early. If we keep going like this soon every holiday will be outshined by Christmas. Forget about oceans rising or hurricanes, soon there won’t be Halloween or Valentines Day or Easter, all because they aren’t as marketable as Christmas.

Yeah, Thanksgiving was the first to be affected, but that’s just because it lies so close to Christmas soon the influence will spread and Christmas music will begin to be played in October, then September, and so on until the entire year is nothing but “Jingle Bells” and “Deck the Halls”. Soon being a Mall Santa will be a salaried career. We will have major deforeststation due to the amount of necessary Christmas trees. Winter break will eventually go on forever and nothing will ever get done.

This is the reality we face if we continue to ignore Thanksgiving. We have to grow up and realize it can’t be Christmas all the time. Things may seem easier and happier at Christmas time, but it only feels that way because it only comes once a year. If we keep extending the Christmas season, then sooner or later it’s going to lose what made it special in the first place. We have to give Thanksgiving its proper time slot to maintain the balance we’ve had for so long. Celebrate Thanksgiving this November, then on the 28th you can go as Christmas crazy as you want. Think about turkey and stuffing, not Christmas shopping and gingerbread. There’s a time and a place for everything, and November is the time for Christmas, I mean Thanksgiving.

Now that I think about it, maybe it’s not our fault Thanksgiving is being pushed aside. Turkeys have been killed for this holiday for as long as it has existed. Maybe they’re the ones enabling this early Christmas fervor. Without Thanksgiving their kind would be much safer. Could Black Friday and all the other early Christmas ploys just be the turkeys slowly fighting back in the shadows? Actually, that sounds pretty stupid; it’s definitely the Global Warming thing.