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Star Clucks Turkey

Will Caffinated Turkey Soon Be Found In Your Local Grocery?

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Star Clucks Turkey

Image courtesy of Food Network

Image courtesy of Food Network

Image courtesy of Food Network

Image courtesy of Food Network

Alysson Pahl, Staff Writer

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With Thanksgiving coming soon, scientists are working hard to fix an age-old problem: How can we stop the effects of tryptophan in our Thanksgiving turkeys?

Have you ever gotten tired after that Thanksgiving dinner your grandma spent all day preparing? That is because of tryptophan. This amino acid, naturally found in turkey, causes tiredness when you digest it. This is why scientists have been exhaustively searching for a counter to this drowsiness.

Their latest idea has been to inject the newly slaughtered poultry with high amounts of caffeine.

“We might be reaching a conclusion in this project,” said one scientist working on Operation Star Clucks.

With the addition of the caffeine, scientists have seen a high spike in energy in those who eat it.

“The effects of our newest experiment have given people more energy,” said another scientist from Operation Star Clucks, “Our turkey will leave you ready for that Black Friday shopping.”

Make sure to check your deli aisle for this newest addition to your Thanksgiving Feast.

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About the Writer
Alysson Pahl, Staff Writer

Alysson Pahl is a freshman in her first year of journalism. She enjoys reading, watching anime, and being alone. She is in Marching Band, Art Club, Academic...

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